I’m slightly obsessed with seeing millennial black women practicing self-care, rest, and their wellbeing on Tik Tok and Instagram! I especially love seeing #blackgirlluxury trends but that’ll be a blog post for another day! All of these practices we see black women doing, talking about, and honoring embody slow living. However, as black women, I think we need to also incorporate something I termed “ the undoing” to become aware of all the things that make us busy, preoccupied and keep us from living more slowly, more intentionally. Many of us millennial black women have the added task of unlearning what we witnessed from the women who raised us because they may not have even had the opportunity to rest or put their needs first. We’re changing that!
I came across the term, “slow living” a few months ago when I was trying to figure out how to add more ease into my life. I define slow living as a mindset shift from doing the most to living with intention. It’s about prioritizing what truly matters to you and doing things that bring you peace, ease, and joy.
This requires you to “undo” all the business so that you can add more intentionality into your life. Honestly, I came to my undoing practice and defining the term from a place of pure overwhelm, exhaustion, and a strong desire to just stop doing all the damn things! (More about this in the tips provided below).
Naturally (I hate to say that!), during my research, the articles and social media content available did not have much representation of black women in the slow living lifestyle. Black girls deserve slow living too! There is so much more we experience as black women that make this way of living inaccessible or just not come across our view. This is why our experiences, individually and collectively, are necessary to acknowledge in the practice of slow living. Starting with undoing is a necessary first step to living slower, with ease and intention for black women.
Time to Start Your Undoing!
Undoing allows you to not only clear out and prioritize what truly matters to you but also allows you to make space for what you actually want to do! However, it starts with identifying the energetics behind your own undoing practice.
Tip 1: The Energetics
The energy you have behind everything you do determines your outcome. Essentially, you’re defining your why and how an activity or action will benefit you. That’s what will keep you staying on the path and remind you of why you are making change.
Take time to reflect on your why. Below are some questions to help guide you. Feel free to journal on them or just close your eyes and reflect.
Tip 2: Boundaries in Check
Whenever we are doing the most, it tends to mean boundaries are not in check. Are you saying yes often, feel like you “have” to do certain things or everything will fall apart? Maybe you just don’t know how important boundaries are? It takes many of us falling apart or hitting our rock bottom before we realize how critical boundaries are. Giving yourself grace in setting boundaries is one thing but maintaining them is a whole other part!
Tip 3: The Undoing Journal
So, back in September 2021, I was overwhelmed as hell! I remember just thinking I want to stop all the doing. I sat down the next moment, grabbed a notebook, and created my undoing list. It was a game-changer and offered me immediate relief and a solution to my anxiety and overwhelm.
Not only did I release some tasks as it helped me think about how to outsource, but I was also able to clear up my schedule so I can do what truly matters. In that, slowness came, ease came, and most importantly rest! It also helped me to unlearn some lingering beliefs I had about doing all the things!
I created this journal to help you because there are so many of us who are going through this. Download this journal and start your own undoing. You absolutely deserve it!