Got Goals? It’s Time You Start Protecting Your Focus!

Got Goals? It's Time You Start Protecting Your Focus!

By Amanda P.


This bomb thing happens when you protect your focus…results! Goals get met, sh*it starts happening for you, you start feeling your alignment and you start feeling in control of your decisions. Protecting your focus means you prioritize what matters to you the most and make the space for opportunities. It means you start saying no to distractions and start putting boundaries in place because those boundaries are a major key.

If you have goals and are finding it difficult to reach them, really take a moment to reflect on your focus. You may have the focus but does it come in spurts? Do other things come up and you get distracted? Have you defined your why for whatever that goal is? I mean really define your why and the energetics behind it and not just “I have this goal because of xyz”. This requires you to dig deep into the real reasons for your goal and how it will help you be your best self. 

You are the guardian of your focus, standing there at the doorway being approached by all kinds of distractions waiting to get into where you are. There are some opportunities mixed in there though but how can you weed through to see who can get into “Club Focus” when you don’t know who’s who? Check the invite list! Create a list of who, what, and why something can get into your Club. If not, you’re going to spend more time removing the unwanted items instead of putting that energy into your focus.

It’s not easy to become the guardian of your focus. But, it definitely doesn’t feel good either when you feel like reaching a goal is harder because of your roles, your job, and all the other things you have going on. Honestly, you may have good reasons and excuses as to why your focus is challenging right now or was in the past. Acknowledge it and figure out what you CAN do instead of what you CAN’T.

We focus so much on why we can’t do something or what we don’t have instead of using that energy to find a solution…to figure out a way. You know this is you if you have a thought and as soon as it hits you start foreboding it. You start thinking of all the ways it would be hard or won’t happen instead of all the ways you can make it happen. Is it a mindset shift, yes absolutely! But it’s worth practicing so you get unstuck, get clear, and focused.

I created a FREE checklist for you to download that will help you be the gatekeeper of your focus. You’ll start with a goal (any goal) it can be something as accessible as planning self-care day. From there, this checklist will help you get clear on how you will make it happen! Starting with something small can help you build up your resilience bit by bit. But, hey, feel free to use this checklist for any goal you have in mind! Keep using it as you go so you can weed out the distractions and only let into Club Focus the things that will help you reach your goals! 


When 2022 Isn’t Giving

When 2022 Isn't Giving

4 Tips To Live In The Middle Space

By Amanda P.


My 2021 ended with me losing my laptop at an Airport in Houston the day before Christmas Eve and finding out I was Covid positive on New Year’s Day! 

So yeah, I had a moment of “f*ck 2022”, but I quickly shifted my mindset because that was NOT the energy I was going to be in to start this year! Shit happens…life happens and I had to be okay with being in this icky middle space while I waited for things to either get better or just for time to pass.

Honestly, when I was on my flight stressed out about my laptop I allowed myself to be in that moment and feel all that I needed to feel. The stress, the anxiety, the anger…all of it. The next day, still upset, I made a decision to just allow space for what I was feeling, allow for self-validation and I created a mantra; “I’m not okay right now, but I will be”. 

Even when I found out I had Covid, I repeated that mantra. That mindset shift allowed me to meet myself where I was and remember that this situation was temporary. Things will get better.

When the new year hits, you may start looking to this fresh start as a way to change. There is beauty there and I love that space but realistically, a New Year doesn’t change your situation, YOU and your mindset do! You may be in that uncomfortable middle space right now! Trying to figure things out, experiencing some life changes where things are not settled just yet. Know that It’s OK to be in that space! 

You can’t rush through this part of your journey because it feels icky. You have to learn how to live in this space. Learning to operate here gives you tools for resilience, problem-solving, innovation, and most importantly, the growth happens here. The juiciness of a book happens in the middle. Don’t miss out on your own story development by rushing to the finish line.

To be in that space and work through it require a mindset shift and practice of mindfulness so that you learn to feel all the feels, think all the thoughts, and have all the moments this middle period presents. 

Here are your 4 Tips to living in the middle!


Can you face the reality of the situation? Whatever is being presented or happening, you have to accept that is occurring. Now, this doesn’t mean you just sit back and allow the “thing” to bring you down.  It means you acknowledge its presence and do not try to bypass it. When you know what you’re dealing with, you’re better able to figure out how to resolve or reconcile it. 

Acknowledge What’s Here

You are going to experience moments that are downright f**cked up but can’t do much about it right away. As you think about solutions to figuring out those moments, don’t forget to allow yourself to feel all the feelings present in the moment. 

Acknowledge what is there for you emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc, and practice just being there. This allows you to meet yourself where you are…

Meet Yourself Where You Are

There is a complete mindset shift when you’re able to meet yourself in the moment. When you’re able to recognize how you’re showing up, you can give yourself all the grace you need.

Have a Growth Mindset

Having a growth mindset is a way of thinking about how YOU can improve your outcomes by remembering the power you have in doing so. This means you are open to taking the steps to improve your situation because taking action will lead to change. This allows you to be actively working toward improving and moving you through the middle to a space that has the outcomes you desire.

Whether your year is starting off exactly how you want it or not, it’s ok!  It’s easy to give thanks and have gratitude when things are going well but do you do the same when things aren’t. Why not? In order to come out of that middle, you have to live in it and feel it. Don’t bypass it. Give yourself grace and find some gratitude in any way you can so that you can keep going.

Cheers to 2022! Until Next time, peace! 

Listen to this podcast episode here: “When 2022 Isn’t Giving, Yet…How to Live in the Middle Space”


Black Women Deserve Slow Living

Black Women Deserve
Slow Living

By Amanda P.


I’m slightly obsessed with seeing millennial black women practicing self-care, rest, and their wellbeing on Tik Tok and Instagram! I especially love seeing #blackgirlluxury trends but that’ll be a blog post for another day!  All of these practices we see black women doing, talking about, and honoring embody slow living. However, as black women, I think we need to also incorporate something I termed “ the undoing” to become aware of all the things that make us busy, preoccupied and keep us from living more slowly, more intentionally. Many of us millennial black women have the added task of unlearning what we witnessed from the women who raised us because they may not have even had the opportunity to rest or put their needs first. We’re changing that!


I came across the term, “slow living” a few months ago when I was trying to figure out how to add more ease into my life. I define slow living as a mindset shift from doing the most to living with intention. It’s about prioritizing what truly matters to you and doing things that bring you peace, ease, and joy.  


This requires you to “undo” all the business so that you can add more intentionality into your life. Honestly, I came to my undoing practice and defining the term from a place of pure overwhelm, exhaustion, and a strong desire to just stop doing all the damn things! (More about this in the tips provided below).


Naturally (I hate to say that!), during my research, the articles and social media content available did not have much representation of black women in the slow living lifestyle. Black girls deserve slow living too! There is so much more we experience as black women that make this way of living inaccessible or just not come across our view. This is why our experiences, individually and collectively, are necessary to acknowledge in the practice of slow living.  Starting with undoing is a necessary first step to living slower, with ease and intention for black women.


Time to Start Your Undoing! 


Undoing allows you to not only clear out and prioritize what truly matters to you but also allows you to make space for what you actually want to do!  However, it starts with identifying the energetics behind your own undoing practice. 


Tip 1: The Energetics


The energy you have behind everything you do determines your outcome. Essentially, you’re defining your why and how an activity or action will benefit you. That’s what will keep you staying on the path and remind you of why you are making change. 


Take time to reflect on your why. Below are some questions to help guide you. Feel free to journal on them or just close your eyes and reflect.


  • What have I been conditioned to think about black women and rest?
  • How would it feel to slow down and prioritize my wellness above all?
  • What will I gain when I prioritize what truly matters and create more openness in my life?

Tip 2: Boundaries in Check


Whenever we are doing the most, it tends to mean boundaries are not in check. Are you saying yes often, feel like you “have” to do certain things or everything will fall apart?  Maybe you just don’t know how important boundaries are? It takes many of us falling apart or hitting our rock bottom before we realize how critical boundaries are. Giving yourself grace in setting boundaries is one thing but maintaining them is a whole other part! 


  • Identify in what areas of your life you feel the busiest or most overwhelmed.
  • Take one of those areas and start thinking about how you can add in actions instead of taking away (at least for now). 
    • For many work is the place where you’re the busiest and it’s difficult to have boundaries. 
      • Perhaps you can add in a 10-15 minute break every few hours. Maybe taking your lunch away from your workspace can be helpful. 


Tip 3: The Undoing Journal 


So, back in September 2021, I was overwhelmed as hell! I remember just thinking I want to stop all the doing. I sat down the next moment, grabbed a notebook, and created my undoing list. It was a game-changer and offered me immediate relief and a solution to my anxiety and overwhelm. 


Not only did I release some tasks as it helped me think about how to outsource, but I was also able to clear up my schedule so I can do what truly matters. In that, slowness came, ease came, and most importantly rest! It also helped me to unlearn some lingering beliefs I had about doing all the things!


I created this journal to help you because there are so many of us who are going through this. Download this journal and start your own undoing. You absolutely deserve it!


Can We Really Show Up Authentically as Black Women?

Can We Really Show Up Authentically As Black Women?

By Amanda P.


I’m a black woman first and always. I take the world as it is while still actively working toward change, toward evolving. For me, that means having an awareness of how the world treats people and operates based on who you are and what you look like.  This is the reality even though experiences will vary.  As black women, we bring our whole selves to our interactions because our stories, not only individually but collectively, contribute to our experiences. Authenticity is about bringing your whole, beautifully diverse, and complex self into existence. 


I was recently in a situation where I had to call someone in (not out) about something they said and did that felt like a microaggression impacted me. It was not about what their intentions were but how the act caused an impact. Even after stating the history and meaning of the act they still lacked understanding of it.  


Bringing Our Authentic Selves To Our Experiences

Our story matters and how when we honor that, we are bringing our authentic selves to our experiences. In my situation, my authenticity and honoring of my story as it contributed to what the other person did put that person on the defense. Because of that, I was gaslit, felt unheard, and the impact was not understood. I’m also aware that their own story contributed to the experience. But, was I to sit in silence when discomfort arose or was I to honor my story and speak out? I definitely wanted to stay quiet because I had some idea of what would happen next but I had this pull to honor my story and be authentic. 


The world sends these mixed messages to black women about being authentic but not at the cost of other’s discomfort. About speaking up but at the same time sitting down. Be soft but you still need to be strong. The whole experience left me thinking deeply about how black women are gaslit when we call out an injustice or infraction against us. When someone said or did something that caused psychological harm but to keep all at ease, ignore that discomfort arising in you telling you it wasn’t right. Feel it but don’t speak on it.


We Must Be That Much More Vigilant In Our Awareness

Whether that transgression was intentional or unintentional is not the point. The point is recognition of the impact that the issue caused. Owning what was done and that it caused harm by acknowledging the impact is a good start to taking personal responsibility. It’s not easy for many to accept that they may have caused damage, especially if they feel it was unintentional. But isn’t that why we must be that much more vigilant in our awareness and vigilant to respond appropriately when someone tells you something offended them?


We all deserve some grace. I also understand and appreciate that we all have a journey. No one is perfect but starting with awareness and listening when someone says they are hurt or that something impacted them is a good place to try to be. However, what about the person that was affected? What do we do when bringing our whole black womanly selves to our experiences is met with resistance, gaslighting, and lack of acknowledgment? 


Black woman, my advice is to remain persistent in your advocacy for yourself. Remain grounded in your identity and right to bring your authentic self. There are many narratives around bringing our authentic selves to what we experience because feeling safe to do so is paramount. For black women, we are mindful of stereotypes and perceptions put on us by society and our environment. We have to choose if we are going to be in a constant state of fighting stereotypes or decide to show up as whoever we are. 

…it’s important to know that your story matters. Who would you be if you were not aware of your blackness or womanness…

However, it’s important to know that your story matters. Who would you be if you were not aware of your blackness or womanness? Your beauty, grace, audacity, and whole being? Showing up authentically, to me, means embracing how your experiences shape who you are—acknowledging the intersectionality and beauty of your identities. 

Know that you have the support of your ancestors who have done what you are doing over and over and over again. They tirelessly tried to make the world more equitable and just. In my situation, I sat in the conflict and did not let go despite how exhausting, hurtful, and disheartening it was. There was work to do; there was also my own work that I was doing. The ancestors were definitely with me in that experience because even though tired, somehow I was able to stand. Somehow I was able to keep the light going. No matter how dim it felt, I kept it lit. It’s what we must do, have to do.

Keep showing up authentically and honor your story. Bring all of your experiences and complexities to what you do. Even if it feels dim and exhausting to do this work toward reclaiming your story, keep it lit no matter how wavering the flame. 


How to Deal with Difficult Situations – 3 Tips

How to Deal with Difficult Situations-3 Tips

Check out podcast episode 26 for the full story!

By Amanda P.


Black women occupy all the spaces but sometimes when we’re in certain spaces we may be the only woman, sometimes we’re the only black person or even the only person of color. Unfortunately, it can affect our feelings and emotions. Sometimes we’re also in spaces where we experience micro aggressions, micro insults, discrimination, sexism, racism, and it’s difficult dealing with those situations. Even outside of the workspace, we might be in situations that are are hard to deal with. In this blog post, I’m providing tips you can use when dealing with a difficult emotion or in a challenging situation. 


Tip #1

Don’t let anyone have your power. If someone controls your emotions, they control you. Now, I doubt you want anyone to have that level of satisfaction, we’re Audacious Black Girls, we do not give anyone that kind of pwoer. So if you’re in a situation when you feel like someone’s not treating you right, or it’s just frustrating, whatever it might be, take a moment to check in with yourself and think about how you want to respond. This allows you to really just check in to see what it is you want to do next. If someone controls your emotions, they control you. We’re not having that at all. Do you want them to take away your power? No. Do you want them to take anything away from you that speaks to your essence and the core of who you are? Do we want them to take you out of your character? No, not at all. We’re not giving that power away. 

What that means is you mind your emotions, so that no one has the control over you. Because if they get a response out of you, which is what they’re looking for, intentionally or unintentionally, then they’re controlling you


Tip #2

Ground yourself and plant your feet. Sometimes we get so out of body, whether you’re in situation that’s frustrating, or, you know, dealing with a difficult emotion, we might disconnect from ourselves. Now you can tell you’re disconnected because you might start feeling all of that emotion in the upper most part of your body. You may even feel like you can’t feel your feet. I know that’s something I go through some times and it feels like you’re having an out of body experience. Sometimes you’re not able to feel the ground because you’re living in the emotion. It’s really important to recognize that you are disconnected by noticing where those sensations seem to be at. Then find a way to connect back to yourself. You can do that by focusing your mind on something solid like the ground. You can begin by drawing your attention to your feet, then then the floor. Start to feel the floor under you and, ground yourself to that sensation. Another option, is maybe there’s a wall near you that you can lean against or touch just something sturdy, to just give you that little kick to remember, “oh, I’m here”. 


Tip #3

Find your breath. When we’re upset, frustrated, stressed or dealing with something challenging, we tend to forget to breathe. We’re not mindful about it. It’s the first thing that goes so bringing your attention to your breath. Feeling the sensation of the air as you inhale and exhale. You don’t even need to breathe deep, just find your natural breathe. As you’re breathing, you’re going to continue to ground yourself with the breathe. Remind yourself that no one has control over you. 

Remind yourself that no one has control over you. 

These 3 tips can allow you to come out of those situations feeling powerful and empowered. When you feel empowered, you have a level of self-awareness. When you’re able to know who you are, and know how you respond to situations. You’ll learn yourself enough to know that you don’t want anyone to take your power, and that you want to just be your absolute best self at all times. That means being self-aware and mindful so are able to respond to challenging situations. 


In the Room Where it Happens

In the Room Where It Happens

Check out Podcast Episode #25 for to hear the full story!

By Amanda P.


Black women deserve…need…belong in the room where it happens. I recently completed the Diversity, Equity and Inclusion in the Work Place Certificate Program at University of South Florida and one of the speakers stated how people of color belong in the room where it happens. In the room where it happen is the room where decisions are made, outcomes are influenced and change happens. The speaker was referencing the “Hamilton” song “In The Room Where It Happens” sung by Leslie Odom, Jr. who plays Aaron Burr. Aaron Burr is describing how he was left out of important conversations and decisions during his time on the political stage.


Remind Yourself That You Belong There

This reference really made me think about black women in these spaces and how we influence outcomes with our audacity but it may not be the easiest situation to be in. Those rooms tend to be heavily dominated (depending on the organization of course) by white, hetero, cis-gendered men. But, in spite of that, black women need to be there! Regardless of how frustrating it might be to be in those spaces our presence is most definitely required. I definitely know people, black women especially, and women of color in general, who feel like it’s not worth it to be in those spaces. That feeling of otherness or that feeling of not being listened to can by quite unbearable to withstand. In those spaces, you are dealing with preconceived notions, discrimination, bias added with your (potentially) own feelings of discomfort. .  not to say all but we know for sure, that is something that we do deal with in certain spaces. 


When in those spaces, it so important and empowering to remind yourself that you belong there, we belong there and that we have to be in the room…the room where it happens. We have to be in the room where those decisions are made the decisions that impact culture, community products, whatever it might be, we need to be there. We have a right to.



We Still Need To Influence Decisions

Now, of course, Aaron Burr was a privileged white male and in general still had the option or opportunity to be in those rooms. As black women of the black diaspora, how often are we left out of those rooms or those decisions, or when we’re in those rooms, we have to contend with that sexism, racism, unconscious bias, microaggressions, microinsults, micro assaults etc etc…but we still need to influence decisions, we still need to be in those spaces, and we’ve been doing it we’ll continue to do it. But, I do think it’s important for Black women to feel empowered in those spaces, to feel empowered in those spaces where we are feeling perhaps othered or feeling like “ugh, not again”.  another space where I’m the only black person, let alone black woman, let alone woman, right. All those things, we’d still deserve to be there. And we should feel empowered in those spaces, because we have a right to be. I truly believe, we have to insert ourselves into the machine in order to break it. We need to be in that room. That’s what’s going to change things. We’ve been doing it we’ll continue to do it. We’ll continue to fight through and we’ll continue to make change.


So here’s the thing,  let’s not get it twisted. Many black women are in leadership roles or are key decision makers in various organizations or companies or just in roles where we influence and impact change. But sometimes in those spaces, we are hyper-aware, rightfully so, of the stereotypes, or how we might be perceived by others, right? Personally, I’ve been in spaces where I was not only the only black person, but I was the only woman. But end of the day, we still do what we need to do, and use our voices to affect change. Research shows that in the C suite in the CEO, offices, and those top leadership roles, they’re not many women, if any, let alone women of color, let in on black women in those rooms. They’ve only been four black women CEOs of Fortune 500 companies all for ever. Overall, only 20 black CEOs making up only what 1% of the CEOs of those fortune 500 companies. That’s nothing. I mean, it’s something right, because they’re doing the damn thing. And they’re in these organizations and leading them. But in comparison to our white counterparts. There’s no comparison. So it really just does remind you of who really is making those decisions, or who’s given directives to the departments that make those decisions. But there are also plenty of organizations and companies that many of us work in where we can see this as well, no matter how big or how small, it definitely speaks to privilege and how decisions are being made without our input. 


So for the black girl who’s unsure of her place in that room, who is trying to get in that room, or who is doing the damn thing in those spaces, but experiencing uncertain moments, please know that we need you there, you still need to be in that room. 

That community needs your voice, that culture, the culture needs you in that room. 

That community needs your voice, that culture, the culture needs you in that room. But most importantly, you deserve to be there. You have every right to be there you have shown you have proven that you deserve to be in a decision making role, that you deserve to use your voice to change outcomes to influence decisions, no matter where you are, in that organization, no matter what the ladder or hierarchy may look like. If you’re there, you are deserving of using your voice. And I want you to feel empowered to do so. You, me, we are needed. 

Check out Podcast Episode #25 for to hear the full story!


Imposter Syndrome While Black​

Imposter Syndrome While Black

Episode 3 Transcript

By Amanda P.


I remember crying when I found out what imposter syndrome was. I was in grad school. And my professor at that time was a woman and she was Latina, she started talking about her experiences in academic settings and doing research studies, and entering all these spaces. And feeling like someone’s going to find out I don’t belong, I’m going to be found out for being a fraud. I don’t belong in these spaces, knowing full well that she did the work, right, that she, you know, had the accomplishments to be in those spaces, but still feeling like a fraud, someone’s gonna find me out. When she labeled her experience as something called imposter syndrome. I literally was stunned. Like, she was relating to me, like, I had no idea I was feeling those same exact feelings for as long as I could remember but had no idea what it was until she labeled it. I remember her going into the bathroom and crying after she finished telling her story. And she came into the bathroom, as well just so happened. I wasn’t crying as I left the class but I went in there just to have a moment. And I thanked her and said “oh my god like I had no idea. That’s what it was called, I had no idea there was a name for it!”

Imposter Syndrome While Black

There’s something about having a name for something and feeling that sense of validation. With your experience, feeling that sense of Wow. Like, that’s what it is, now I can work on it. Now I can figure out what to do about it. It may come across as feelings of insecurity, feeling like I don’t belong, feeling like I’m a fraud. you’re judging yourself, you’re doubting yourself, right? So you may have some successes or achievements, and be in positions or roles that require you to have a certain level of intellect and experience, very successful, but feeling like someone’s gonna find me out, maybe I don’t belong in this space. But everything you’ve done up until that point has proven that you belong in that space. Right. So your high achieving now men, women, anyone can experience this. So it really is an experience that can be universal in some senses. However, when I think about imposter syndrome, it really makes me think of who we are as black women, right? And the experiences that we have, in general, some very similar to imposter syndrome. You know, like we are super aware, hyper-aware of our gender of our black skin and how we are perceived, right? So we might walk into a space and be like the only woman or the only black woman or the brown woman, Latina, Asian, and film-like all eyes are on us, right? And then those feelings of inadequacy might come up not saying it happens with everyone, but you might have those same kinds of similar thoughts or emotions or feelings that imposter syndrome can bring up for many of us.

So really it’s kind of like how do you decipher that? How do you figure out if this is imposter syndrome? Or is it you know, am I feeling this way? Because of my gender, my culture, my race. So I think that’s where imposter syndrome and you know, blackness and woman-ness come across the compound. So let’s go into what syndrome is. imposter syndrome was coined by Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes in 1978 they did a study called the imposter phenomenon. Sometimes imposter syndrome is called that as well. So the study is called the “imposter phenomenon in high achieving women”. Definitely do your research and read the article yourself. And what they did in this study is they essentially studied really high achieving women, right? And they wanted to figure out why were these women having or feeling still, like they were inadequate, even though they were very successful. They were college professors, they were really high in the academic field, or they were going through grad school or going through college, but still feeling like I’m a fraud, I don’t belong. Now, we can think, of course back in the 70s, where, you know, they were still, of course, gender issues going on being a part of this. However, it was still an experience that women were having. 

Now, when you do read this study, and they coined this, and they state this in the study themselves, who they studied, were primarily white, middle to upper-class women, ages 20 to 45. So automatically, right, you can sense and see, there’s some bias there. It wasn’t a study, in my opinion, where it was all-encompassing, right, there wasn’t any diversity, or, or inclusivity. In their study. Right. So even though that experience of imposter syndrome might be shared by, like I said, anyone, whether you’re male or female, or regardless of how you identify culturally, or racially, it’s a shared experience. But it brings to mind intersectionality. For me, it brings to mind how that study didn’t fully capture how gender and how race plays into imposter syndrome. As black and brown women, like I said, we can be hyper-aware of when we walk into a space, you know, of our bodies of how we are, might be perceived, you know, as black women, we might be perceived, as you know, that whole angry black woman stereotype or the strong black woman stereotype or all these things that we know, not to be true, and that many of us don’t identify with, of course, but we still sometimes are aware of that, like, some people might still have those prejudices and biases, which is very unfortunate, and people need to change their way of thinking, but we’re still very aware of it. And unfortunately, there are many studies out there that don’t fully capture the experience of people based on their culture, or, you know, ethnicity or how they identify. So this is where that term intersectionality comes into play, or the theory intersectionality kind of comes into play here. 

Intersectionality Theory

So intersectionality theory was created by Kimberly Crenshaw, in 1991. So she did a study where she essentially determined that women of color, whether you’re Asian, Latina, or black, who were experiencing domestic violence, or rape, or any other socio-economic or justice issues, the experiences weren’t fully captured in the resources that they were trying to receive. In fact, some were discriminated against, because of those things, right. So because of organizations, not having this full understanding of cultural things, and how they are, you know, affect people that are looking for services, their services didn’t have that level of understanding or that level of insight into you know, what, in the black community, if a woman is experiencing domestic violence, you know, her calling the police might do more harm than good, right? Because we are fully aware of how society views, you know, black men, if that’s her abuser, and perhaps if someone is undocumented, right, perhaps they’re experiencing domestic violence or experienced some kind of assault, and they feel scared to call the police or to, you know, go for resources because they’re worried that their status might lead them to be, you know, taken out of the country. So those are factors that come into play, and those are factors that can lead Crenshaw went over and reviewed in her study, which is a really great study so once again, you know, do your research and you can read the study and make your own conclusions, but she really created that term intersectionality theory to kind of go into these things because there are studies and resources out there that really don’t fully encapsulate what it is that that people of color women of color experience. 

Imposter Syndrome and Intersectionality

So this just brings us back to imposter syndrome and intersectionality theory, and how our experiences as black and brown women, how it might be different for let’s say, someone that is white, right, like a white woman, like, how will imposter syndrome show up for us? How different does that look for you? Right? I know, for me, it really wasn’t until maybe a couple of years later when I really thought about this, like I experienced imposter syndrome. But for me, there’s other feelings that come along with that, right? Because I am aware of my blackness I am aware of, you know, my gender, I am aware of all these factors that make me that make the other women and men in my community, who we are and how society might view us. So how does that come into play with imposter syndrome? I think what it can do is really expound upon that, right? It really makes our experience look so much different than someone who might be white and experiencing imposter syndrome. Whereas maybe their coping skills or the ways that they kind of manage or deal with their imposter syndrome, it might be different for me, for you for us, right? Because, okay, yeah, say I get a handle on this imposter syndrome thing. But does that change the way, you know, society might look at me how I might be treated. Not necessarily, right, because it’s still a factor. Because any day if I deal with the imposter syndrome, I’m still black. I’m still a woman, I’m still Latina, I’m still Asian, I’m still, you know, whatever, who I am, who I identify as, I think those things are always going to be there. And there’s beauty and who we are, right? 

There’s beauty and diversity, and such greatness, and imposter syndrome, you know, you don’t want it to like, affect what you do. But sometimes it can be there still, you know, and it may be something you go in and out of life with or you may taper off, it may go away whatever it may be, but for those of us who are dealing with it, or who are handling it the best way that we can, you know, there’s still so many other aspects of our experience that doesn’t just end when we deal with the imposter syndrome part of it, we have so many other things that we have to be aware of. When we’re in certain spaces, you know, and it doesn’t stop us, which is the beautiful thing that I love about us as black and brown people is that we don’t let anything stop us like we are still achieving and have achieved and will continue to achieve greatness and amazingness. And like I said, when it comes to imposter syndrome, people who are very successful and have accomplishments, you know, are the ones that experience this kind of thing. And sometimes it might even stem from childhood. Right? Like were you a people pleaser, are you a people pleaser? You know, were you a parent pleaser, were you in situations where you feel like I have to do more and say more and be more to receive recognition. You know, that could also play into those past experiences that you know to develop that imposter syndrome, and still feeling that level of inadequacy still feeling like it wasn’t enough. 

The thing is our gender, our blackness, our differences, our diversity, it only gives us that much more power and strength. I think all of the women who came before us, who have opened up so many doors for us and how brave it was for them to do that, how much they probably went through imposter syndrome. Or just, of course, that awareness of their skin, their gender, and how they still broke down barriers. How they still said, You know what, I’m going to change things for the next woman, I’m going to continue to do what I need to do, and brave this out for the next woman. So those are the people that give me encouragement. Especially when I’m in a situation where I’m experiencing imposter syndrome and of course through awareness of my body, and my gender, my skin, whatever it might be. I think of those who came before me. I think of my ancestors who sacrificed and did so much for what we have now where I am You are today in this moment. And I allow that power and that strength to kind of guide me. You know, I think that’s something any of us and many of us probably do and can do, is really think about all the support you have behind you, and how you’re still leading the way for so many others.

So even as you’re working on, you know, addressing, and managing that feeling of do I belong, I’m going to be found out, you know, at least minimizing that feeling when it comes to our intersectionalities and our differences. And when we enter certain spaces, minimizing the effect that it can have, by reminding yourself of who has your back, who has your back, who opened that door for, you know, reminding you that you belong there. You belong to be in that space. You know, like even just having that as a reminder in the back of your mind, can allow you to push through like that imposter syndrome and get through that experience. So who do you look up to? You know, are there other women that you look up to that inspire you to enter certain spaces, right, to continue to, to open doors for not only yourself but other women. Finding someone that you recognize that has a similar experience as you can be so critical to moving through imposter syndrome. As a woman, as a black and brown woman.

I think that’s something you can use as you figure out this whole thing, right, this whole imposter syndrome thing, and as you manage it, and work through it, so given it some light, talking to friends about it, you know, I know, that’s something I did, like, I talked to my friends and realize, oh, wow, like you go through that too. You know, having that shared sense of community and being able to identify it and other people, or identify experiences and other people can give it some light and kind of take that pressure off of it or that power away from that feeling of feeling like an imposter or feeling like Oh, man, no, someone’s gonna find me out, I’m a fraud, because you’re not, you’re in those spaces for a reason you’ve earned the privilege to be in that space. And you did that. You did that. And you belong in that space. So you know, talking to your girls, and, you know, kind of getting some support in that is supercritical and helpful. And I’ll give a little bit of what I do. So what I’ve done is I’ve named her, I named that “B” like, I was like, You know what? I see you, I recognize you, and I’m going to separate from you the best way that I can so I’d name her. So when she comes up, I tell her Listen, I’m in the driver’s seat, sit your butt to the back, I got this. We’ll talk about this later. I see you, I recognize you. I know why you’re here. It’s because of fear. Because you think you don’t belong. But we belong here. take a backseat, I got this. Right. So literally separating and dividing and disconnecting, can be so helpful. And later on. I talked about it with myself, you know, I see, you know what we did that, look, we entered that space, we owned it, we did our thing, whether it’s an academia, whether it’s in a professional setting, whatever it might be, we did that, you know. And what that does is diminishes that imposter syndrome feeling bit by bit, and makes you that much stronger, you know, it might still be there. But it really is about the power that you give it you know the power that you give it to live within you. And knowing that you can have a handle on it. And sometimes that disconnecting from it can help you have that handle on it. 

How to Manage Imposter Syndrome Tips

Create your Cookie Jar

Some other things I think we can do to address this is to have a cookie jar, right? Like, maybe write little notes to yourself when you have an accomplishment or when someone gives you you know, some good advice or gives you a compliment something that you were successful on any kind of achievement, write it down on a piece of paper, put it like in a jar or just keep it somewhere so that when you have those moments when imposter syndrome might come up or you’re having feelings of doubt or whatever it might be. Reach into that cookie jar and remind yourself of how much a badass you are. remind yourself of why you belong where you are, and why the success So what you have is yours, and why opportunities are coming to you because you earned it. You can also, you know, keep a list, like on Google Docs, or keep notes, whatever it might be whatever you have in your phone. So when you do have those moments, when you’re like, wow, that made me feel really good like that has shown and proved, that I did that, like I am successful. And I own this. Just write it down, whether it’s in a cookie jar, whether it’s on your phone, to something you can access, to remind yourself of who you are, what you’ve done, and how truly amazing and beautiful you are. 

Stick to the Facts!

And remember to stick to the facts, stick to the writing that’s on the wall, you know, those certificates, you got that award, the reward, those compliments, everything, like just stick to the facts. You know, just keep it simple, like, you know, what I’ve shown I’ve proven, it’s literally right here in my face, what I’ve done. And that’s it, like sticking to the facts can also be supercritical and helpful in those moments when you just didn’t get through it really quickly. You know, and something as well as journaling, you know, journaling your emotions, like getting it out on paper, getting it out of your head. And like I said, Give it some light, get it out of that dark space and give it some light, and diminish that power that it has over you. So even though you know, we might be of course, aware of, you know, our gender and our skin color, which only gives us superpowers, I tell you like I love my black skin like I love being a woman. And I love it. So so much strength and power, and all of us black and brown women and you inspire me, oh my gosh, like we inspire each other. And like, it’s just only beautiful. It’s only beautiful, you know, so using that as our strength and our superpower. Knowing that that’s what gives us that more, much more competence to move forward. And to connect with each other is such a beautiful neck and just get us through any of those situations, whether it’s imposter syndrome or walking into space, and you know, being aware of your skin color or your gender, whatever it might be, just allow that to be your power. 


So for this episode, I want to leave you with an affirmation. But before I say that affirmation, but I want to tell you that the most profound thing you can do is to be radically yourself. The most profound thing you can do is be radically yourself. That means living in your power, standing in your strength. And then being the individual that you are. being who you are, at your essence at your core is enough. That’s it. Be radically you find the strength and power in that to get you through any kind of situation that you might be going through or experiencing when it comes to imposter syndrome or when you’re occupying or entering any spaces. 

The most profound thing you can do is be radically yourself. That means living in your power, standing in your strength. And then being the individual that you are. being who you are, at your essence at your core is enough. That’s it. 

So your affirmation for this episode is I am enough. I have enough and I am worthy of my accomplishments. I am enough. I have enough and I am worthy of my accomplishments. You truly, truly are. I hope you take that in and use it whenever you need that little refresher or reminder to be yourself to be radically yourself. Because you are enough, you are enough. You are enough, just as you are.