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Surrender To God’s Dream

surrender to god's dream

Tiny Shifts: Bites of wisdom, curiosities, and inspiration to shift your perspective.

By Amanda P.

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To surrender is to open to the goodness making its way to you. To surrender is to trust. Trust is difficult. Trust requires believing when you can’t put your hands on what you desire or when you can’t tangibly see that it is happening. But it is happening.  Your prophecy will be fulfilled. 

surrender…

God’s dream for you is bigger and better than anything you could imagine. God’s dream for you is energetically and galactically connected to power beyond what you can touch or see. How can limitedness be in your sphere when God only wants you to experience abundance? Nothing is more abundant than God’s dream for you. Can you surrender to it…

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Tiny Shifts

You’re Too Close

You're too close

Tiny Shifts: Bites of wisdom, curiosities, and inspiration to shift your perspective.

By Amanda P.

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How much do you focus on imperfections? The scratches or tattered pieces of an ensemble, resenting that it exists. Disrupting the vision you created…the path you thought you’d follow…the life you “should” have. 

You’re too close. Step back and see how those imperfections make up the entire picture. Look at the entire thing and see how the flaws add to your character. The tatters show you are unfinished. How intentionally placed the imperfections are.  And here…you stand.

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Tiny Shifts

You’re Not Owed. You Deserve.

you're not owed.
you deserve.

Tiny Shifts:

Bites of wisdom, curiosities, and inspiration to shift your perspective.

By Amanda P.

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You’re not owed love

You’re not owed admiration

You’re not owed joy

You’re not owed anything

You deserve love

You deserve to be admired

You deserve joy

You deserve everything

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Tiny Shifts

There’s Enough

There's enough

Tiny Shifts:

Bites of wisdom, curiosities, and inspiration to shift your perspective.

By Amanda P.

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What if you had an abundance mindset? Most importantly, what if you recognized that there is room for everyone to exist, especially you? Your new idea, creativity, and desire for growth or change are proof of your abundance. Your expansion. You were created just as you are because there is enough room for you in the world.  

Scarcity exists when we believe there needs to be more money, space in a room, seats at a table, or that our ideas are not enough. The gag is you don’t need the table or room to be bigger. Room is made by you simply showing up and taking up space.

If you operated in abundance, how accessible would the world be for you?  The diversity in your thoughts, actions, and method is your abundance to tap into, not restrict. Let the scarcity mindset and actions shit go, and watch how you evolve. Scarcity is the tether holding you back from your more.

The most abundant thing you can do is practice patience and trust that what desire you will acquire.

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Got Goals? It’s Time You Start Protecting Your Focus!

Got Goals? It's Time You Start Protecting Your Focus!

By Amanda P.

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This bomb thing happens when you protect your focus…results! Goals get met, sh*it starts happening for you, you start feeling your alignment and you start feeling in control of your decisions. Protecting your focus means you prioritize what matters to you the most and make the space for opportunities. It means you start saying no to distractions and start putting boundaries in place because those boundaries are a major key.

If you have goals and are finding it difficult to reach them, really take a moment to reflect on your focus. You may have the focus but does it come in spurts? Do other things come up and you get distracted? Have you defined your why for whatever that goal is? I mean really define your why and the energetics behind it and not just “I have this goal because of xyz”. This requires you to dig deep into the real reasons for your goal and how it will help you be your best self. 

You are the guardian of your focus, standing there at the doorway being approached by all kinds of distractions waiting to get into where you are. There are some opportunities mixed in there though but how can you weed through to see who can get into “Club Focus” when you don’t know who’s who? Check the invite list! Create a list of who, what, and why something can get into your Club. If not, you’re going to spend more time removing the unwanted items instead of putting that energy into your focus.

It’s not easy to become the guardian of your focus. But, it definitely doesn’t feel good either when you feel like reaching a goal is harder because of your roles, your job, and all the other things you have going on. Honestly, you may have good reasons and excuses as to why your focus is challenging right now or was in the past. Acknowledge it and figure out what you CAN do instead of what you CAN’T.

We focus so much on why we can’t do something or what we don’t have instead of using that energy to find a solution…to figure out a way. You know this is you if you have a thought and as soon as it hits you start foreboding it. You start thinking of all the ways it would be hard or won’t happen instead of all the ways you can make it happen. Is it a mindset shift, yes absolutely! But it’s worth practicing so you get unstuck, get clear, and focused.

I created a FREE checklist for you to download that will help you be the gatekeeper of your focus. You’ll start with a goal (any goal) it can be something as accessible as planning self-care day. From there, this checklist will help you get clear on how you will make it happen! Starting with something small can help you build up your resilience bit by bit. But, hey, feel free to use this checklist for any goal you have in mind! Keep using it as you go so you can weed out the distractions and only let into Club Focus the things that will help you reach your goals! 

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When 2022 Isn’t Giving

When 2022 Isn't Giving

4 Tips To Live In The Middle Space

By Amanda P.

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My 2021 ended with me losing my laptop at an Airport in Houston the day before Christmas Eve and finding out I was Covid positive on New Year’s Day! 

So yeah, I had a moment of “f*ck 2022”, but I quickly shifted my mindset because that was NOT the energy I was going to be in to start this year! Shit happens…life happens and I had to be okay with being in this icky middle space while I waited for things to either get better or just for time to pass.

Honestly, when I was on my flight stressed out about my laptop I allowed myself to be in that moment and feel all that I needed to feel. The stress, the anxiety, the anger…all of it. The next day, still upset, I made a decision to just allow space for what I was feeling, allow for self-validation and I created a mantra; “I’m not okay right now, but I will be”. 

Even when I found out I had Covid, I repeated that mantra. That mindset shift allowed me to meet myself where I was and remember that this situation was temporary. Things will get better.

When the new year hits, you may start looking to this fresh start as a way to change. There is beauty there and I love that space but realistically, a New Year doesn’t change your situation, YOU and your mindset do! You may be in that uncomfortable middle space right now! Trying to figure things out, experiencing some life changes where things are not settled just yet. Know that It’s OK to be in that space! 

You can’t rush through this part of your journey because it feels icky. You have to learn how to live in this space. Learning to operate here gives you tools for resilience, problem-solving, innovation, and most importantly, the growth happens here. The juiciness of a book happens in the middle. Don’t miss out on your own story development by rushing to the finish line.

To be in that space and work through it require a mindset shift and practice of mindfulness so that you learn to feel all the feels, think all the thoughts, and have all the moments this middle period presents. 

Here are your 4 Tips to living in the middle!

Acceptance

Can you face the reality of the situation? Whatever is being presented or happening, you have to accept that is occurring. Now, this doesn’t mean you just sit back and allow the “thing” to bring you down.  It means you acknowledge its presence and do not try to bypass it. When you know what you’re dealing with, you’re better able to figure out how to resolve or reconcile it. 

Acknowledge What’s Here

You are going to experience moments that are downright f**cked up but can’t do much about it right away. As you think about solutions to figuring out those moments, don’t forget to allow yourself to feel all the feelings present in the moment. 

Acknowledge what is there for you emotionally, mentally, spiritually, etc, and practice just being there. This allows you to meet yourself where you are…

Meet Yourself Where You Are

There is a complete mindset shift when you’re able to meet yourself in the moment. When you’re able to recognize how you’re showing up, you can give yourself all the grace you need.

Have a Growth Mindset

Having a growth mindset is a way of thinking about how YOU can improve your outcomes by remembering the power you have in doing so. This means you are open to taking the steps to improve your situation because taking action will lead to change. This allows you to be actively working toward improving and moving you through the middle to a space that has the outcomes you desire.

Whether your year is starting off exactly how you want it or not, it’s ok!  It’s easy to give thanks and have gratitude when things are going well but do you do the same when things aren’t. Why not? In order to come out of that middle, you have to live in it and feel it. Don’t bypass it. Give yourself grace and find some gratitude in any way you can so that you can keep going.

Cheers to 2022! Until Next time, peace! 

Listen to this podcast episode here: “When 2022 Isn’t Giving, Yet…How to Live in the Middle Space”

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Black Women Deserve Slow Living

Black Women Deserve
Slow Living

By Amanda P.

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I’m slightly obsessed with seeing millennial black women practicing self-care, rest, and their wellbeing on Tik Tok and Instagram! I especially love seeing #blackgirlluxury trends but that’ll be a blog post for another day!  All of these practices we see black women doing, talking about, and honoring embody slow living. However, as black women, I think we need to also incorporate something I termed “ the undoing” to become aware of all the things that make us busy, preoccupied and keep us from living more slowly, more intentionally. Many of us millennial black women have the added task of unlearning what we witnessed from the women who raised us because they may not have even had the opportunity to rest or put their needs first. We’re changing that!

 

I came across the term, “slow living” a few months ago when I was trying to figure out how to add more ease into my life. I define slow living as a mindset shift from doing the most to living with intention. It’s about prioritizing what truly matters to you and doing things that bring you peace, ease, and joy.  

 

This requires you to “undo” all the business so that you can add more intentionality into your life. Honestly, I came to my undoing practice and defining the term from a place of pure overwhelm, exhaustion, and a strong desire to just stop doing all the damn things! (More about this in the tips provided below).

 

Naturally (I hate to say that!), during my research, the articles and social media content available did not have much representation of black women in the slow living lifestyle. Black girls deserve slow living too! There is so much more we experience as black women that make this way of living inaccessible or just not come across our view. This is why our experiences, individually and collectively, are necessary to acknowledge in the practice of slow living.  Starting with undoing is a necessary first step to living slower, with ease and intention for black women.

 

Time to Start Your Undoing! 

 

Undoing allows you to not only clear out and prioritize what truly matters to you but also allows you to make space for what you actually want to do!  However, it starts with identifying the energetics behind your own undoing practice. 

 

Tip 1: The Energetics

 

The energy you have behind everything you do determines your outcome. Essentially, you’re defining your why and how an activity or action will benefit you. That’s what will keep you staying on the path and remind you of why you are making change. 

 

Take time to reflect on your why. Below are some questions to help guide you. Feel free to journal on them or just close your eyes and reflect.

 

  • What have I been conditioned to think about black women and rest?
  • How would it feel to slow down and prioritize my wellness above all?
  • What will I gain when I prioritize what truly matters and create more openness in my life?

Tip 2: Boundaries in Check

 

Whenever we are doing the most, it tends to mean boundaries are not in check. Are you saying yes often, feel like you “have” to do certain things or everything will fall apart?  Maybe you just don’t know how important boundaries are? It takes many of us falling apart or hitting our rock bottom before we realize how critical boundaries are. Giving yourself grace in setting boundaries is one thing but maintaining them is a whole other part! 

 

  • Identify in what areas of your life you feel the busiest or most overwhelmed.
  • Take one of those areas and start thinking about how you can add in actions instead of taking away (at least for now). 
    • For many work is the place where you’re the busiest and it’s difficult to have boundaries. 
      • Perhaps you can add in a 10-15 minute break every few hours. Maybe taking your lunch away from your workspace can be helpful. 

 

Tip 3: The Undoing Journal 

 

So, back in September 2021, I was overwhelmed as hell! I remember just thinking I want to stop all the doing. I sat down the next moment, grabbed a notebook, and created my undoing list. It was a game-changer and offered me immediate relief and a solution to my anxiety and overwhelm. 

 

Not only did I release some tasks as it helped me think about how to outsource, but I was also able to clear up my schedule so I can do what truly matters. In that, slowness came, ease came, and most importantly rest! It also helped me to unlearn some lingering beliefs I had about doing all the things!

 

I created this journal to help you because there are so many of us who are going through this. Download this journal and start your own undoing. You absolutely deserve it!

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Can We Really Show Up Authentically as Black Women?

Can We Really Show Up Authentically As Black Women?

By Amanda P.

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I’m a black woman first and always. I take the world as it is while still actively working toward change, toward evolving. For me, that means having an awareness of how the world treats people and operates based on who you are and what you look like.  This is the reality even though experiences will vary.  As black women, we bring our whole selves to our interactions because our stories, not only individually but collectively, contribute to our experiences. Authenticity is about bringing your whole, beautifully diverse, and complex self into existence. 

 

I was recently in a situation where I had to call someone in (not out) about something they said and did that felt like a microaggression impacted me. It was not about what their intentions were but how the act caused an impact. Even after stating the history and meaning of the act they still lacked understanding of it.  

 

Bringing Our Authentic Selves To Our Experiences

Our story matters and how when we honor that, we are bringing our authentic selves to our experiences. In my situation, my authenticity and honoring of my story as it contributed to what the other person did put that person on the defense. Because of that, I was gaslit, felt unheard, and the impact was not understood. I’m also aware that their own story contributed to the experience. But, was I to sit in silence when discomfort arose or was I to honor my story and speak out? I definitely wanted to stay quiet because I had some idea of what would happen next but I had this pull to honor my story and be authentic. 

 

The world sends these mixed messages to black women about being authentic but not at the cost of other’s discomfort. About speaking up but at the same time sitting down. Be soft but you still need to be strong. The whole experience left me thinking deeply about how black women are gaslit when we call out an injustice or infraction against us. When someone said or did something that caused psychological harm but to keep all at ease, ignore that discomfort arising in you telling you it wasn’t right. Feel it but don’t speak on it.

 

We Must Be That Much More Vigilant In Our Awareness

Whether that transgression was intentional or unintentional is not the point. The point is recognition of the impact that the issue caused. Owning what was done and that it caused harm by acknowledging the impact is a good start to taking personal responsibility. It’s not easy for many to accept that they may have caused damage, especially if they feel it was unintentional. But isn’t that why we must be that much more vigilant in our awareness and vigilant to respond appropriately when someone tells you something offended them?

 

We all deserve some grace. I also understand and appreciate that we all have a journey. No one is perfect but starting with awareness and listening when someone says they are hurt or that something impacted them is a good place to try to be. However, what about the person that was affected? What do we do when bringing our whole black womanly selves to our experiences is met with resistance, gaslighting, and lack of acknowledgment? 

 

Black woman, my advice is to remain persistent in your advocacy for yourself. Remain grounded in your identity and right to bring your authentic self. There are many narratives around bringing our authentic selves to what we experience because feeling safe to do so is paramount. For black women, we are mindful of stereotypes and perceptions put on us by society and our environment. We have to choose if we are going to be in a constant state of fighting stereotypes or decide to show up as whoever we are. 

…it’s important to know that your story matters. Who would you be if you were not aware of your blackness or womanness…

However, it’s important to know that your story matters. Who would you be if you were not aware of your blackness or womanness? Your beauty, grace, audacity, and whole being? Showing up authentically, to me, means embracing how your experiences shape who you are—acknowledging the intersectionality and beauty of your identities. 

Know that you have the support of your ancestors who have done what you are doing over and over and over again. They tirelessly tried to make the world more equitable and just. In my situation, I sat in the conflict and did not let go despite how exhausting, hurtful, and disheartening it was. There was work to do; there was also my own work that I was doing. The ancestors were definitely with me in that experience because even though tired, somehow I was able to stand. Somehow I was able to keep the light going. No matter how dim it felt, I kept it lit. It’s what we must do, have to do.

Keep showing up authentically and honor your story. Bring all of your experiences and complexities to what you do. Even if it feels dim and exhausting to do this work toward reclaiming your story, keep it lit no matter how wavering the flame. 

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How to Deal with Difficult Situations – 3 Tips

How to Deal with Difficult Situations-3 Tips

Check out podcast episode 26 for the full story!

By Amanda P.

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Black women occupy all the spaces but sometimes when we’re in certain spaces we may be the only woman, sometimes we’re the only black person or even the only person of color. Unfortunately, it can affect our feelings and emotions. Sometimes we’re also in spaces where we experience micro aggressions, micro insults, discrimination, sexism, racism, and it’s difficult dealing with those situations. Even outside of the workspace, we might be in situations that are are hard to deal with. In this blog post, I’m providing tips you can use when dealing with a difficult emotion or in a challenging situation. 

 

Tip #1

Don’t let anyone have your power. If someone controls your emotions, they control you. Now, I doubt you want anyone to have that level of satisfaction, we’re Audacious Black Girls, we do not give anyone that kind of pwoer. So if you’re in a situation when you feel like someone’s not treating you right, or it’s just frustrating, whatever it might be, take a moment to check in with yourself and think about how you want to respond. This allows you to really just check in to see what it is you want to do next. If someone controls your emotions, they control you. We’re not having that at all. Do you want them to take away your power? No. Do you want them to take anything away from you that speaks to your essence and the core of who you are? Do we want them to take you out of your character? No, not at all. We’re not giving that power away. 

What that means is you mind your emotions, so that no one has the control over you. Because if they get a response out of you, which is what they’re looking for, intentionally or unintentionally, then they’re controlling you

 

Tip #2

Ground yourself and plant your feet. Sometimes we get so out of body, whether you’re in situation that’s frustrating, or, you know, dealing with a difficult emotion, we might disconnect from ourselves. Now you can tell you’re disconnected because you might start feeling all of that emotion in the upper most part of your body. You may even feel like you can’t feel your feet. I know that’s something I go through some times and it feels like you’re having an out of body experience. Sometimes you’re not able to feel the ground because you’re living in the emotion. It’s really important to recognize that you are disconnected by noticing where those sensations seem to be at. Then find a way to connect back to yourself. You can do that by focusing your mind on something solid like the ground. You can begin by drawing your attention to your feet, then then the floor. Start to feel the floor under you and, ground yourself to that sensation. Another option, is maybe there’s a wall near you that you can lean against or touch just something sturdy, to just give you that little kick to remember, “oh, I’m here”. 

 

Tip #3

Find your breath. When we’re upset, frustrated, stressed or dealing with something challenging, we tend to forget to breathe. We’re not mindful about it. It’s the first thing that goes so bringing your attention to your breath. Feeling the sensation of the air as you inhale and exhale. You don’t even need to breathe deep, just find your natural breathe. As you’re breathing, you’re going to continue to ground yourself with the breathe. Remind yourself that no one has control over you. 

Remind yourself that no one has control over you. 

These 3 tips can allow you to come out of those situations feeling powerful and empowered. When you feel empowered, you have a level of self-awareness. When you’re able to know who you are, and know how you respond to situations. You’ll learn yourself enough to know that you don’t want anyone to take your power, and that you want to just be your absolute best self at all times. That means being self-aware and mindful so are able to respond to challenging situations. 

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In the Room Where it Happens

In the Room Where It Happens

Check out Podcast Episode #25 for to hear the full story!

By Amanda P.

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Black women deserve…need…belong in the room where it happens. I recently completed the Diversity, Equity and Inclusion in the Work Place Certificate Program at University of South Florida and one of the speakers stated how people of color belong in the room where it happens. In the room where it happen is the room where decisions are made, outcomes are influenced and change happens. The speaker was referencing the “Hamilton” song “In The Room Where It Happens” sung by Leslie Odom, Jr. who plays Aaron Burr. Aaron Burr is describing how he was left out of important conversations and decisions during his time on the political stage.

 

Remind Yourself That You Belong There

This reference really made me think about black women in these spaces and how we influence outcomes with our audacity but it may not be the easiest situation to be in. Those rooms tend to be heavily dominated (depending on the organization of course) by white, hetero, cis-gendered men. But, in spite of that, black women need to be there! Regardless of how frustrating it might be to be in those spaces our presence is most definitely required. I definitely know people, black women especially, and women of color in general, who feel like it’s not worth it to be in those spaces. That feeling of otherness or that feeling of not being listened to can by quite unbearable to withstand. In those spaces, you are dealing with preconceived notions, discrimination, bias added with your (potentially) own feelings of discomfort. .  not to say all but we know for sure, that is something that we do deal with in certain spaces. 

 

When in those spaces, it so important and empowering to remind yourself that you belong there, we belong there and that we have to be in the room…the room where it happens. We have to be in the room where those decisions are made the decisions that impact culture, community products, whatever it might be, we need to be there. We have a right to.

 

 

We Still Need To Influence Decisions

Now, of course, Aaron Burr was a privileged white male and in general still had the option or opportunity to be in those rooms. As black women of the black diaspora, how often are we left out of those rooms or those decisions, or when we’re in those rooms, we have to contend with that sexism, racism, unconscious bias, microaggressions, microinsults, micro assaults etc etc…but we still need to influence decisions, we still need to be in those spaces, and we’ve been doing it we’ll continue to do it. But, I do think it’s important for Black women to feel empowered in those spaces, to feel empowered in those spaces where we are feeling perhaps othered or feeling like “ugh, not again”.  another space where I’m the only black person, let alone black woman, let alone woman, right. All those things, we’d still deserve to be there. And we should feel empowered in those spaces, because we have a right to be. I truly believe, we have to insert ourselves into the machine in order to break it. We need to be in that room. That’s what’s going to change things. We’ve been doing it we’ll continue to do it. We’ll continue to fight through and we’ll continue to make change.

 

So here’s the thing,  let’s not get it twisted. Many black women are in leadership roles or are key decision makers in various organizations or companies or just in roles where we influence and impact change. But sometimes in those spaces, we are hyper-aware, rightfully so, of the stereotypes, or how we might be perceived by others, right? Personally, I’ve been in spaces where I was not only the only black person, but I was the only woman. But end of the day, we still do what we need to do, and use our voices to affect change. Research shows that in the C suite in the CEO, offices, and those top leadership roles, they’re not many women, if any, let alone women of color, let in on black women in those rooms. They’ve only been four black women CEOs of Fortune 500 companies all for ever. Overall, only 20 black CEOs making up only what 1% of the CEOs of those fortune 500 companies. That’s nothing. I mean, it’s something right, because they’re doing the damn thing. And they’re in these organizations and leading them. But in comparison to our white counterparts. There’s no comparison. So it really just does remind you of who really is making those decisions, or who’s given directives to the departments that make those decisions. But there are also plenty of organizations and companies that many of us work in where we can see this as well, no matter how big or how small, it definitely speaks to privilege and how decisions are being made without our input. 

 

So for the black girl who’s unsure of her place in that room, who is trying to get in that room, or who is doing the damn thing in those spaces, but experiencing uncertain moments, please know that we need you there, you still need to be in that room. 

That community needs your voice, that culture, the culture needs you in that room. 

That community needs your voice, that culture, the culture needs you in that room. But most importantly, you deserve to be there. You have every right to be there you have shown you have proven that you deserve to be in a decision making role, that you deserve to use your voice to change outcomes to influence decisions, no matter where you are, in that organization, no matter what the ladder or hierarchy may look like. If you’re there, you are deserving of using your voice. And I want you to feel empowered to do so. You, me, we are needed. 

Check out Podcast Episode #25 for to hear the full story!